By Esther(the other one)
n Israel, we all feel like one big family. This is great when you need to ask someone something, because there is no animosity and you are often met with a willing and thorough response. However, there are also times when people comment as they please. Before Shmuel came along, walks with our ‘other bubba’ – our dog – invited concerns as to whether his collar was too tight, his leash too loose or his fur too short, voiced by well-meaning dog-lovers. Israelis love dogs, but they love children more! Going out with Shmuel therefore, often attracts attention from his extended Jewish family – of over 6 million!
This can be difficult for new young mothers, of which I am one. During these first weeks I felt inexperienced, inadequate and often like Shmuel deserved a mother who knew a lot better how to look after him! People’s comments and opinions on what I needed to change did not help! It took a combination of time in prayer – and just some time – to feel confident again. And all of this got me thinking about what I have that the Israeli people do not yet have. Although they are indeed the ‘People of the Book’, the majority does not have a personal relationship with God through His Son and Holy Spirit. This special community relies solely on each other for guidance and direction. This makes it easier to understand why they might comment on and talk about everything!
When I first came to Israel, I was secular and had not yet chosen to believe and enter into a relationship with God. I had been raised on the principle: ‘Your life is what YOU make of it, so make the right decision!’ This often overwhelmed me. How could I possibly know? There were so many things I did not understand! My point of reference was then, other people. I found validation in their opinion and approval. I could not rest unless somebody else gave me the ‘okay’ about what I was doing. It did not help that I lacked a practical understanding of things.
I would spend hours on the phone; inviting family and friends into every area of my life and seeking their counsel. I will admit that this was often not too productive; they rarely seemed to know better than I what to do! But it comforted me, made me feel less at risk of doing the wrong thing and less alone with my problems and crises. It also affected me deeply, when friends, family or strangers had something negative to say or did not agree with me. I felt I had to explain or argue until they did! Only then would I feel a fraction more confident that I was doing the right thing. It was an exhausting way to live and I am so thankful I did not become a new mother at this point in my life!
When I entered into a relationship with God I was able to see how He was guiding my thoughts and decisions. He spoke Proverbs 3 to my heart: In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:6 NKJV) Gradually I stopped running to people and began to take my concerns and queries straight to Him!
Now my phone bill is markedly less, because I have a free and direct dial-up to the One who formed me in my mother’s womb! He knows every step of my life’s journey because He is the one in charge of it! Who better to ask for guidance and direction?
When we first brought Shmuel home, my husband and I realised we had no idea how much sleep babies need! We searched separately online and re-grouped a little later. From the hundreds of websites, we had chosen the exact same article on baby sleep patterns to discuss! God had made His recommendation clear! There are many ways God will choose to answer my concerns and direct me. Most often I will feel a peace in my heart about something. I chose which baby clinic to take Shmuel to based on the peace I felt regarding one over another. The only information I had on each was where they were located – the same distance away! But I prayed and felt my heart turn to one. When I called they answered instantly and sounded so kind, which further affirmed this peace I felt. I then met a fellow young mother there during my first appointment and we have become wonderful neighbourhood friends!
These days, I receive countless comments, opinions and bits of advice from family, friends and Shmuel’s ‘extended Jewish family’ out on the street. That’s OK; God does also speak through the mouths of other people and I can count on Him to bring the right information my way. So instead of feeling judged by their words, I either a) accept it as something God wants me to hear or b) reject it but thank the person. I try not to take it personally or let doubts creep in about my mothering abilities. If that happens, I remember that I am not alone; I am guided and directed by the best partner there is!
I pray that all the special people in this special land would know where to go to for the answers they seek daily. I pray that they would know the comfort, guidance and love of the God of Israel. And I say to all the young mothers out there: know that God Almighty is on your side! He will never leave you! He gave you the child He knew you are the perfect mother for! Be comforted and trust Him!
B’shem Yeshua!
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Cynthia Agnell says
God blessed Shumel with a wise mother.
Kay Ivey says
You blessed my morning sharing your life in Israel as a believer. Your insight is so fresh and pure with His love in your heart, definitely all things are possible. Wow, I can’t imagine what God has planned for you and the people of Israel.
God Bless You All….
Brenda Brown says
Ester that was awesome. Remember when that doubt starts to creep in that is not from God. When I was young in my relationship with God, the church where we were going sang a song about Satin being under my foot and i think of that when I find myself listening to that voice that is not God and I just move my foot back and forth like I am squashing a bug and remind satin that he is under my foot…..Thank you Jesus. Our prays are with the three of you and we pray all of Gods blessing on you’ll.
Grandma jeri says
Good morning sweet Esther your dependence on our father makes you such a special mom for shamuell I. Love these visits and. You are in my. Prayers I love the way you take care of our boys. GG
Connie says
Esther, I rejoice at the wisdom that God is giving you and I also rejoice that you belong to God and His people in a very special way.
Love and blessings