By Nicole Sivan
Israelis are known for not keeping their opinions to themselves. Random strangers will offer advice on every topic in existence, whether solicited or not. Walk down the street with a new baby on a balmy 80 degree afternoon and at least three grandmas will reprimand you for not dressing him warm enough. Infants in Siberia would surely never be allowed to leave the house with these bubbes patrolling the neighborhood.
Approach the butcher to ask for a specific cut of meat and he’ll inquire about what you plan to cook. He may then suggest a better cut for the dish and offer some advice on the cooking process. While this is actually very nice, and often very helpful, all customers within ear shot will also chime in with their opinion on which piece of meat he should give you and the best way to cook your meal. Either prepare to defend your recipe to the death or reluctantly get out your pen and paper and start writing down instructions.
Such discussions among Israelis can seem loud and aggressive to the untrained ear. I remember one afternoon sitting at a sidewalk café with my husband when I heard a heated debate among some men down the street. Terrified that their conversation would lead to blows, I asked my husband to translate what they were saying. He told me, “The first guy said, ‘what beautiful weather we are having’. The second guy answered, ‘yes, a perfect day to go the beach.’” OK, lesson learned. Loud voices, animated body language, and an aggressive tone can be about the most mundane of topics. Don’t assume a fight is going to break out and don’t take heated conversations too seriously.
Israel is a Mediterranean country after all, and if hand gestures while talking weren’t allowed we’d have to wander another fifty years in search of a new Promised Land. Jewish culture, in general, is a culture that encourages debate, discussion and the offering of an opinion. There are a million jokes about us, including “Jews will talk themselves to death,” and “put 10 Jews in a room and you’ll get 11 opinions.” The State of Israel itself is even criticized by its own citizens for being too democratic because there are so many parties in parliament, each representing a specific interest, making it impossible for the government to reach any agreements or get anything done.
No, Israeli culture is not a hiding place for a wallflower. This is a culture that commands one to express what’s on his mind, to get excited about a discussion, to have an opinion about a topic and to approach strangers to receive and offer advice. We don’t say good morning to our neighbors here because it is the polite thing to do; we speak to them as part of the nation’s open invitation to have a conversation. Israelis know how to talk to each other; things only get messy because we don’t always agree.
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